Is Oral Sex During Your Period Safe?

24 Apr

Is it safe to perform oral sex on a woman who is menstruating? 

One night a guy, we’ll call him Matt* invited a girl over. They began fooling around, and before he knew it, he was performing oral sex on her, when she paused for a moment and nonchalantly removed something from her vagina. He politely asked, “What was that?” At first, he thought maybe it was just a Nuva ring, a circular birth control device that is placed into the vagina, but nope, it wasn’t that either. 

He could not continue pleasing her when he was curious as to what the object was that she just threw onto his floor. Lights off and all, he got out of bed, picked up the object off the floor and opened his bedroom door, there in the light, he saw a bloody tampon. This young boy was a bit surprised and disgusted, and I can’t blame him, he was not aware that this young lady was menstruating, and he had just performed oral sex on her.

It would have been more appropriate if the young woman had explained that she was on her period and using a tampon rather than just surprising this young man by removing it in the middle of fooling around and throwing it on his floor. Now, in the case that she may have accidentally forgotten her tampon inside of her, which, realistically is a common mistake that happens to many women, hopefully the two had been using protection, and recently tested for STD’s and other diseases. But, nevertheless, he has just performed oral sex on a woman with her period, which still left this young man wondering, is it safe to perform oral sex on a woman who is menstruating?

Answer: In theory, according to Dr. Laura Berman, it is safe to perform oral sex on a woman who has her period, although due to negative assumptions, a lack of education and personal preferences, people often choose to wait until they are finished menstruating. However, performing oral sex on a woman at any time, especially while she is menstruating can put you at risk for STD’s and some viruses, so it is best to use a dental dam during this foreplay activity.

If you are not going to use protection, you are essentially always at risk whenever you are sexually active because you don’t know how faithful your partner actually is. To be safe, make sure you and your partner have been tested, and use protection to make sure you’re sexually experimenting as safely as possible. 

Forgetting a tampon inside of your vagina can be smelly, a bit gross and sometimes even dangerous to your health. According to TamponSafety.com, “Absorbency enhancers in tampons can cause peeling of the mucous membrane, vaginal dryness, ulcers, and lesions. Perfumes and fragrances in some tampons are reported to cause vaginal irritation, allergic reactions, and disruptions of a woman’s microbial balance.”

It can also possibly cause Toxic Shock Syndrome,  which is a severe disease that involves fever, shock, and problems with the function of several body organs that is caused by bacterial toxins. Yet in most cases, if caught in time, forgetting a tampon inside isn’t the end of the world. However, if this happens, you can try removing it yourself, and if you have difficulty, call your gynecologist, local clinic or a doctor and you can have it professionally removed.

It is also important to know that you cannot lose a tampon or object inside of your vagina permanently, it can be taken out. As Lissa Rankin, M.D. says, “think of your vagina as being like a sock. If you lose a banana in a sock… it’s still in the sock.” 

What did you learn?

  • If you use tampons, to avoid unwanted complications, make sure you don’t forget any inside your vagina.
  • You can’t physically lose something inside your vagina.
  • Make sure you and your partner have been tested before any sexual activity to make sure you’re as safe as possible.
  • Performing oral sex on a woman who is menstruating is theoretically safe if both people are disease free. However, it is best to use protection since you cannot trust anyone fully but yourself. 
More articles about this topic:
**If you have any questions about the validity of this article, please consult your doctor, or a medical professional.
**The only way to be 100% protected from STD’s and other diseases, is by abstaining from sex. But, if you choose to be sexually active, get tested and use protection to be as safe as possible.

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“Bad Boy High”

18 Apr

Although I am not particularly a Twilight fan, I can say the one thing I agree with the choice to have that sexy dude who becomes a wolf. Is it just me or does he get sexier when he turns into one? I recently became faced with a problem that all women face at some point in their lives, the fact bad feels better than good. It may seem crazy and messed up (and it is), but just think about it… When was the last time a guy did everything right and it made you want him more? In our world, when a man does everything right for us, it seems like he’s a “stage 5″ and makes you gag a little bit. It’s sad that this exists, but reality is, men like a chase and women like a challenge. Bad boys present challenges to women. 

You may think I’m crazy, however, research from the University of British Columbia found that there is an obsession with “bad boys.” The “bad boy” is a guy who plays hard to get, is unavailable, has slumped posture, looks down often, doesn’t smile often, stands with loose hips, eye fucks you (raw dog) and basically, he’s the guy at the bar with his hands in his pocket, drinking a beer in a white T and jeans and looks hot just because he’s there, unapproachable and sexy as hell. The study included 1000 participants and women in this study concluded that the “bad boy” look was most alluring, appealing and “bad boys” are more enticing,interesting and attractive than a happy and eager man. 

Do we just dislike being treated correctly with respect and kindness? Psychologically it seems crazy to enjoy chasing a man who plays hard to get and gives less than what we deserve, and yet we do it incessantly. We are more turned on and attracted by a man who doesn’t answer promptly, is getting a lot of attention from other women and loves it, doesn’t follow through when he says he will and the list goes on and on.

I hesitated to believe that it could be possible that I am that psychologically messed up and then I thought about that wolf-man in Twilight, is it our natural animal instinct to want to have sex or take on a challenge? Women are maternal creatures and as those, we have an innate feeling of responsibility of those we care for, especially those we love. This is why we find more interest in men who appear to be unavailable, and in need to love and affection. We believe we have what it takes as women, to give them that affection they look like they’re in need of. The more unavailable a man presents himself to be, the harder the challenge is, the more difficult chase,  and ultimately the greater the thrill.

Think about that person you like. It is now 8PM on a Saturday evening and you’ve yet to hear from them this weekend,  but every time you check your phone, you look to see if you’ve heard from them. You want them to be wondering what you’re up to,  if you’re going out… etc. It’s 11:45 and they finally text you. Think of that feeling you get inside when you see their name on your phone. Swallow your pride, it’s that weird belly feeling, with a side of excitement. In the book The Male Brain and The Female Brain by Louann Brizendine, a neuropsychiatric, she says the less often a guy smiles, the more we crave one from him. (I think I am addicted to smiles from men) It’s almost as if we want to be the one who makes him smile, and thus, we find another challenge. When we get a smile from a person we’re interested in, dopamine is released in our brains. Dopamine is a happy hormone. When we don’t receive the positive reactions from those that we are interested in, there is a feeling of anticipation. Think about that feeling you get waiting to hear from the person you like, it’s like that feeling. The longer that period of anticipation lasts, the stronger our desire for that release of dopamine and tension builds.

Think of “blue balls” or “pink balls” but in your mind and heart, it’s awful. This tension that you feel will only make you work harder to get that rush of dopamine that will make you feel better. We’ll call this the “Bad Boy High” and it can actually be addicting. That long-awaited rush of dopamine to the brain becomes a necessity for happiness rather than just a plus, and can actually be addicting. Pretty crazy huh? When you think about it, now you know why they say, “you’ll do anything for love.” Bad boys create more tension within us, leaving us wanting that rush of dopamine more often, challenging us to get it. I suppose men can feel this too, maybe that’ll be my next article, “Crazy Hot Bitch High” …. till next time, Just Blau Me.

 

 


 

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What NOT To Get Single Women on Valentine’s Day

9 Feb

So, I’m single. Blau me. I thought this would be a lonely, miserable time in my life and yet, I actually like it! I don’t answer to anyone, I can be a bitch when I feel like it and not feel bad. PMS is just another week of my life, and no one gets annoyed with me when I’m going through it. I don’t have obligations to anyone but my family and dog. Gee, this single life is becoming another one of my favorite things.

However, I’m not even going to pretend that I am going to like being single on Valentine’s day. Let’s be honest, I’m sure I will hate the fact that I am single on Valentine’s day. No cheesy Hallmark cards that tell me how beautiful, amazing and sexy I am, and how I am the missing piece to his puzzle. It is going to be a sad, stupid miserable day in which I probably, well not probably, I will sit on my ass, eat an unrealistic amount of chocolate covered things, watch The Notebook, cry my eyes out and sit in a bathtub pondering if I’ll ever find another man other than my dog and father to love me unconditionally.

Then of course it is the single women that get those weird ass gifts on Valentine’s day to overcompensate for the fact that they are single. I love when people get me something for Valentine’s day when I’m single, chocolate and battery operated devices are preferred.

If you’re wondering what NOT to get single women on Valentine’s day, I’ve made it pretty simple for you.

A Snuggie.

[MySnuggieStore, $9.99]

Just because many single women will spend this day on the couch, watching sad, sappy love movies does not mean we need to be covered in a large piece of pink felt with sleeves. All this does is encourage hand to mouth action and make us fat AND single.

Awful.

A Boyfriend Pillow

[NeatShtuff, $28.95]

Not everyone needs to sleep with an arm around them to be secure and comfortable okay? Just because single women don’t have boyfriends, does NOT mean we need a plush replacement. If it vibrated, it’d be one thing, but it doesn’t.

Giant Plush Microbes

[ThinkGeek, $8.99]

No one wants to get a sexually transmitted disease, not even if it’s soft, cute and cuddly. There is nothing funny about giving your friend herpes, even if it’s stuffed.

Grow A Boyfriend

[NeatOShop, $1.95]

Why does every person in a relationship feel so bad for single people? So bad that they need to buy this dumb grow-a-boyfriend kit? All this thing does is grow in water and become a weird, gooey plastic creature. What about that is worth a dollar ninety-five?

It doesn’t even have a penis.

Microfiber Cleaning Slippers

[NeatShtuff, $9.24]

Just because we’re single does NOT mean we don’t have anything better to do than clean. These don’t clean, they move dust around.

I threw mine out.

Match.com Gift Card

[Match, $50.97]

You know, not every single person wants to look for a partner. Maybe we don’t want one right now.

Enjoy your Valentine’s Day, please don’t get me any of these gifts, I’m happily single.

If you get me one of these, you can

Just Blau Me.

 

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HPV Vaccine is Now Officially Recommended by Pediatricians for Boys

2 Feb

There has been a large breakthrough in children’s vaccinations by the nation’s largest pediatrician group! The new vaccination schedules were published for children in America and they found, boys now too should be inoculated starting at ages 11-12, ”because new data showed giving boys the vaccine can help lessen the odds of HPV-associated cancers in men and in women, said Dr. H. Cody Meissner, chief of pediatric infectious disease at the Floating Hospital for Children at Tufts Medical Center in Boston.”

In 2007 young girls began getting their vaccinations against HPV, a series of 3 shots over a six month period of time. While the vaccinations do not completely prevent men and women from getting HPV, it has been known to protect against genital warts in both men and women. Recent evidence shows that the vaccine may also help prevent anal, penile, neck and head cancers too.

These vaccinations are now being offered to boys ages 11-12, which is also the age that girls are recommended to get it as well. “HPV vaccinations are also advised for young men ages 13 to 21 if they’ve not yet had all three shots. It may be given to boys as young as 9 and to men between 22 and 26.”

HPV Human Papillomavirus is contracted easily. So easily it can be received from genital touching. According to the CDC, “HPV is passed on through genital contact, most often during vaginal and anal sex. HPV may also be passed on during oral sex and genital-to-genital contact.”  You may use condoms during intercourse, but most people do not use protection during oral sex although they should. In fact, oral HPV is now becoming a lot more common than many doctors and scientists ever expected it to be, particularly in men.

HPV is now said to be affecting 3 out of 4 women, and at least 80% of women will have HPV at some point in their lifetime. Petrifying. This is a huge percentage and definitely raises eyebrows and should raise awareness. The main problem with HPV is that there is currently no test for men, so we don’t know if men have it until they’ve given it to a woman, and she’s tested positive. Moreover, just because men can’t get tested for it, does not mean it doesn’t affect them as well.

It’s great to see that pediatricians are recommending the vaccinations for young boys and girls. Hopefully this will help control the spread of HPV, so as to make it less dangerous for sexually active beings. We should not stop having sex, we should not stop experimenting, but we should start to become more aware and educated about our sexual health and how we put ourselves at risk. Part of the problem is that people tend to believe that oral sex, and genital touching are not forms of sex, when in reality they are. Just because it isn’t putting a P in a V does not mean it isn’t sexually related. No one is saying you shouldn’t have sex, and experiment, but it is important to understand the responsibility you take on when you become sexually involved with anyone. Condoms do help protect you from sexually transmitted diseases, but they don’t necessarily protect you from HPV.  I don’t know about you, but genital warts does not sound yummy, not to mention cervical, anal, oral, penile, neck and throat cancers are quite scary too.

Next time you contemplate getting a blow job, or as some guys I know call it, “a whopper,” going down on a girl, having sexual intercourse, or as I like to call it now, fornicating, or anything related below the belly button, think about whether or not you’re fully ready to be responsible for your actions. Whether you like that person enough, to risk your sexual health that will affect you for the rest of your life. Like Dr. Ruth tweeted recently, “Have a lot of sex, but have it with a steady partner.” I couldn’t agree more with the grandma.

Remember, we only have one body, take care of it.

Stay safe and sexy people, or Just Blau Me.

 

 

Read more:

3 Changes to Children’s Vaccine Recommendations Announced

CDC Committee Recommends Boys Receive HPV Vaccine 

Boys Should Get HPV Vaccine Too, CDC Says. 

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Fingering 101

30 Jan

Welcome to Fingering 101

Everyone thinks that fingering a woman is a simple task. Theoretically, how hard can it be to place a finger into a vagina? Believe it or not, it’s not as easy as you may think. A friend of mine came to me the other day with a serious dilemma. We’ll call him Abe,* he met someone who he really likes, things got hot and heavy and she was, let’s say… too tight to tango. Abe* tried everything he could do without the help of artificial lube from going down on her, to wetting his fingers and nothing worked. He explained that it was almost as if her vaginal muscles were completely shut and he couldn’t fit any finger into her vagina, let alone the idea of his penis.

I immediately asked him what her reaction was. Abe* explained that she said that she was comfortable, however, she made sounds and motions that insinuated a bit of discomfort. I mean, clearly the girl was uncomfortable in that he was trying to fit a finger into a pin hole. Ouch. But it may not have been because of a lack of knowledge on how to finger a girl, but better a lack of knowledge about the vagina. Can’t blame men for not understanding it completely, they don’t have a vagina. Many women don’t even know anything about their vaginas.

There are a couple things you should consider before fingering a woman:

Short nails are a must. The vagina is a delicate part of the body made up of tissues and can be easily hurt. Most men do not like when women use teeth during sex. Think about how you would feel if a woman scratched your penis with her teeth or nails during a blow-job or sex. Cut your nails, it really is simple.

Lubricant is welcome. It can take a woman anywhere from 30 minutes to 1 hour and 20 minutes to become naturally lubricated from foreplay. Artificial lubricant can be helpful during foreplay, especially if you or your partner have a hard time becoming lubricated naturally. This can be totally normal due to hormonal changes; however, if it’s negatively affecting your sex-life and health, contact a doctor. It is important for men to understand that no matter how wet and excited a woman man  get from your “phenomenal” skills, that moisture is easily taken away and rubbed into your hand and fingers, which can leave her susceptible to small cuts, lesions and tender feeling.  Not hot. Try Paraben and Glycerin Free Astroglide. It is less likely to cause any infection, it is water soluble and lasts for a pretty decent amount of time, especially for foreplay use.

Almost anything can fit.  If a baby’s head can fit out of a vagina, one would assume it’s safe to think any size, width, length penis can fit inside of a woman. However, there is something called Vaginismus. The vagina has a sphincter. Great word. This is a group of muscles that controls it’s tightness. This is why you may feel the vagina tighten during an orgasm, or during sex, just blame it on the sphincter. This sphincter also allows penises, fingers, doctor’s speculums, tampons, dildo’s etc. to fit inside. Vaginismus is when the sphincter clenches and does not allow for anything to be inserted into the vagina. I’ll explain more about vaginismus another time… However, it is important to understand that not everything always fits inside of the vagina. Not all women have vaginismus, yet, it could be a possibility. If insertion is not an option because of her discomfort, which can be because of other things too, there is always clitoral stimulation that can lead to an orgasm.

Delicate strokes for vagina folks. While women have this too, predominantly men seem to have this major misconception that just because the vagina can fit almost any size, width and length penis, it is easy to penetrate. 1,2,3 in for me. No. It doesn’t work like that. Inserting anything into a vagina takes time, patience, lubrication and communication. You need to be gentle. Of course, unless she likes being finger banged.

Communication leads to great fornication. All women enjoy being pleasured differently. In this case, I’m talking about fingering. There are women who like their vaginas tapped, flicked, rubbed fast and slow. Some women are more into pressure than speed. Some women like it when you place your fingers inside the vagina, while others would prefer clitoral stimulation. Unless you want to go into that deep dark hole blind-sighted and take her moans, or groans as direction, it’s okay to ask a woman what it is she likes. For example:

Abe* said he asked, “Are you comfortable?” Most women I know would respond “Yes” because while they may be comfortable with you, they don’t like what you’re doing sexually. Telling someone you don’t like what you’re doing, especially if it’s not hurting you, is difficult because you don’t want to ruin the moment, and you don’t want to hurt their feelings. While the girl did respond and say she was comfortable, her actions were speaking a different language.

Instead, try asking, “does this feel good?” or “how do you like it?  Take her hand, place it on her and tell her to show you how she likes it, or say, “tell me what to do.” Let’s be serious, while we’d like for men to know everything about the vagina, they can’t because they don’t have one. Unless you’re a gynecologist, I dont believe you know everything about the vagina. No one but a gyno looks at all different vaginas all day long, not even me. If anyone knows the vagina as a man, it’s a male gynecologist. Other than that, you don’t know nearly as much as you think you do about the vagina. Truth. Swallow your ego and just accept it.

“Come hither” motion. There seems to be some misunderstanding of what to do when you’ve gotten inside. While some women, according to my viewers and some friends, do enjoy “finger banging” which is where you insert your fingers into the vagina and quickly remove them repetitively. Kind of like, replacing your penis during “jack rabbit sex” with fingers. In order to pleasure a woman during fingering, try reaching for her g-spot. If you place your fingers inside the vagina and make a “come hither” motion with your fingers, you may feel the tissue inside feels a bit rigid, or different than the rest of the vaginal tissue. This is where you’ll mostly likely find her g-spot. Unless you’re partner tells you that she likes being fingered in a certain way, try the come hither motion, and moving your fingers back and forth rather than in and out. It creates less friction, and allows for a possible g-spot stimulation.

So, Abe* next time you are going to try fingering your lady friend make sure to cut your nails, try some lubricant, understand that it may not be about her vagina size, you may just not be doing something she likes. Try communicating with her to make sure that you are doing what she wants. This is about her, not you. Your ego may get you the girl, but it won’t always get you in her or satisfy her. People who are willing to learn, make the most of the life, and get the most out of it.

Happy Foreplay, or Just Blau Me.

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