Although I am not particularly a Twilight fan, I can say the one thing I agree with the choice to have that sexy dude who becomes a wolf. Is it just me or does he get sexier when he turns into one? I recently became faced with a problem that all women face at some point in their lives, the fact bad feels better than good. It may seem crazy and messed up (and it is), but just think about it… When was the last time a guy did everything right and it made you want him more? In our world, when a man does everything right for us, it seems like he’s a “stage 5″ and makes you gag a little bit. It’s sad that this exists, but reality is, men like a chase and women like a challenge. Bad boys present challenges to women.
You may think I’m crazy, however, research from the University of British Columbia found that there is an obsession with “bad boys.” The “bad boy” is a guy who plays hard to get, is unavailable, has slumped posture, looks down often, doesn’t smile often, stands with loose hips, eye fucks you (raw dog) and basically, he’s the guy at the bar with his hands in his pocket, drinking a beer in a white T and jeans and looks hot just because he’s there, unapproachable and sexy as hell. The study included 1000 participants and women in this study concluded that the “bad boy” look was most alluring, appealing and “bad boys” are more enticing,interesting and attractive than a happy and eager man.
Do we just dislike being treated correctly with respect and kindness? Psychologically it seems crazy to enjoy chasing a man who plays hard to get and gives less than what we deserve, and yet we do it incessantly. We are more turned on and attracted by a man who doesn’t answer promptly, is getting a lot of attention from other women and loves it, doesn’t follow through when he says he will and the list goes on and on.
I hesitated to believe that it could be possible that I am that psychologically messed up and then I thought about that wolf-man in Twilight, is it our natural animal instinct to want to have sex or take on a challenge? Women are maternal creatures and as those, we have an innate feeling of responsibility of those we care for, especially those we love. This is why we find more interest in men who appear to be unavailable, and in need to love and affection. We believe we have what it takes as women, to give them that affection they look like they’re in need of. The more unavailable a man presents himself to be, the harder the challenge is, the more difficult chase, and ultimately the greater the thrill.
Think about that person you like. It is now 8PM on a Saturday evening and you’ve yet to hear from them this weekend, but every time you check your phone, you look to see if you’ve heard from them. You want them to be wondering what you’re up to, if you’re going out… etc. It’s 11:45 and they finally text you. Think of that feeling you get inside when you see their name on your phone. Swallow your pride, it’s that weird belly feeling, with a side of excitement. In the book The Male Brain and The Female Brain by Louann Brizendine, a neuropsychiatric, she says the less often a guy smiles, the more we crave one from him. (I think I am addicted to smiles from men) It’s almost as if we want to be the one who makes him smile, and thus, we find another challenge. When we get a smile from a person we’re interested in, dopamine is released in our brains. Dopamine is a happy hormone. When we don’t receive the positive reactions from those that we are interested in, there is a feeling of anticipation. Think about that feeling you get waiting to hear from the person you like, it’s like that feeling. The longer that period of anticipation lasts, the stronger our desire for that release of dopamine and tension builds.
Think of “blue balls” or “pink balls” but in your mind and heart, it’s awful. This tension that you feel will only make you work harder to get that rush of dopamine that will make you feel better. We’ll call this the “Bad Boy High” and it can actually be addicting. That long-awaited rush of dopamine to the brain becomes a necessity for happiness rather than just a plus, and can actually be addicting. Pretty crazy huh? When you think about it, now you know why they say, “you’ll do anything for love.” Bad boys create more tension within us, leaving us wanting that rush of dopamine more often, challenging us to get it. I suppose men can feel this too, maybe that’ll be my next article, “Crazy Hot Bitch High” …. till next time, Just Blau Me.